Dear friends--I have been gone for so long. But I have returned with a vengeance. First up at bat: on Wednesday, January 21st, 2009, I had my first really amazing observation of human behavior here at Northwestern University.
For those of you in the know, I'm in the process of transferring to Northwestern's prestigious School of Education and Social Policy, to major in Social Policy. Now, I have no idea what it means, but it sure sounds cool, and everyone who studies it is happy--mama didn't raise no fool, 2/2 is awesome! Anyways, part of the inter-school transfer process is taking a class in your prospective major before transferring, kind of a probation period if you will, or dating before calling your
relationship official.
So my dating-but-not-a-thing-officially course in
SESP is Introduction to Community Development.
Before we proceed though, a small fact--Learning and Organizational Change, another SESP major, is FULL TO BURSTING with JOCKS!
Ok, so Community Development: I'm sitting in class, in the back row of Annenberg G-21 (a 150 person classroom, or thereabouts) next to my esteemed colleague Dan-man. Suddenly, a shadow falls on my face from the right. It's a giant. This guy is probably at least 6'5, 220#: his biceps are like saplings; he's got no neck because it's all shoulders; blond crewcut. Needless to say, I'm terrified.
I pull out
LappyPro3000 (well, really the older, less sleek version) and start tick-tap-typing away about Saul Alinsky ("une jeuf"), and Jane Addams ("totes a lez guys!") but then Profsky uploads a PBS/CPB documentary on the father of Community Organizing himself (that'd be Alinsky folks!)! So I quit out of MSWord, switch to
the best news-source in this our fair nation. I'm reading all sorts of hippy-liberal-sexpositive stuff, when I suddenly notice that the giant to my left has totally PASSED OUT.
He's slumped down so far that his knees have just completely overflown the airspace in the row ahead of us, but his head and shoulders are still a good foot and a half above the back of the seat! Now, I'm not a tiny person, I've some broad shoulders, and let me tell you, I had to fold myself in on myself like one of Sadako's paper cranes!
Fast forward 70-75 minutes--class is about to end in ten minutes, and this guy wakes up. Yawns. Stretches a zillion feet in radius. Then reaches down to the ground before my feet and mysteriously procures this
tupperware-esque container: it's a cereal container, but cylindrical, and probably has like a gallon+ of space in it.
Filled with PROTEIN SHAKE!
He starts shaking this thing, into my airspace. He's got like a portable smoothie shack going! I'm consistently frightened for the LappyPro's life on every downswing, but it survived. Final, once it's shaken up enough (and believe you me, I was shaken up enough for both me and the shake) he drinks it. Not by pulling off the cap--no, through the pour spout for the cereal! And he DRINKS IT--ALL OF IT!!!
And then (this dude just must be dedicated to the team and the concept of
hydration) he whips out a water bottle that must be 3-5 liters! And chugs it all down.
Satisfied--having napped, "fed", and hydrated (only needs to have sex now!)--he gets up, and high-tails it out of there in that galumphing manner that only the best Jocks have.
Just goes to show that not everyone is getting an education 'cause they want it, I s'pose!
This has been a stick up of your internet usage.
Abesie out!
Posts
